We're moving to South Haven.......

Over the past three nights, our little ladies have been sleeping well during the night.  They are still waking up every 2-3 hours to feed, but they go right back to sleep, allowing us to sleep.  That being said, goodbye Indianapolis, hello South Haven.  We have determined it must be the comforts of this quaint lakeside community or the cool breezes coming off the water.  Whatever it is, we're not leavin.  Weve had a good run in Indianapolis.  If anyone wants to buy our house, let me know.  We are going to live in the guest suite here at the GP's condo.  Free rent, great beef jerky, and lots of cribbage.  What more could we ask for?  I know we will get lots of messages from our Indianapolis friends saying they dont know how they will go on without us, but we have made up our minds.  Check out the pics from our new home on the flickr link.

Going Blog Crazy

So, in honor of Bri's mom Jill posting on the blog, I decided to help facilitate the intermingling of blog posses by posting links to our frequent poster's blogs.  If anyone else has one to add, let m e know.  Matt and Christine have not updated theirs in a year, so they are lame.  

Reading is Fundamental......

Apparently noone actually reads my posts.  I was informed that many people believe the pictures in the previous post were of our ladies.  They are not.  I found those pictures by googling 'fat babies'.  It was meant to be a projection of their current growth trajectory.    Come one people, seriously.

May I introduce you to our hungry hungry hippos....

So, we went to the doctor today for their 1 month checkup.  We were eager to see how much they (mostly Riley) weighed as Mrs. Beefy has been eatin a lot.  It had been 2.5 weeks since our last appointment.  At that time, Riley weighed 6lb 12 oz and Sanna weighed 5lb 13oz.  I will post their new weights as a comment so you can all have fun guessing how much they weigh now.  I heard somewhere that a typical newborn  gains about 1oz a day.  If you simpletons cant handle the math, that means Sanna should weigh 6lb 15oz and Riley should weigh 7lb 14oz.  It was 18 days since our last appointment.   

*side note...those are not our babies.  It is a digital rendering of what our babies will look like in about a month.

Paaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrttttyyyy!!!!!

The family ventured out to their first social gathering this past weekend. The Drlich's put on a spectacular party to celebrate Abe's second birthday. Our ladies did their best to not upstage Abe on his special day. We probably shouldnt have dressed them in their super cute 'matching' sundresses. I want to give a shout out to all my peeps over at 'Mental Notes' for checking out the scene over here at 'Verbal Diarrhea'. With our powers combined we can take over the baby blogging universe. I am attaching a video of Abe dancing to one of his favorite tunes. I must admit this was not his best work (probably too many distractions), but it is still tough to beat (I am talking to you Mr. Conaway). Highlights of the shindig include Bermes' stripper heels (appropriate for a two-year-olds birthday, I think not), Rian going crazy on Abe's bouncy horse, lessons in sharing led by the birthday boy, and taco salad. I probably should have led off with the taco salad. I ate about two pounds and could have eaten two more. Our ladies were perfect little angels, alllowing themselves to passed around like a game of hot potato without making a sound (good thing this party was done well before their witching hour). The Drlich's have now set the standard for children's birthday parties.  We have 11 months to plan our first celebration.  I welcome all suggestions for themes/concepts.   See the latest pics, including some from the party, on the flickr link.

Problem Solved!

It turns out all you "knowledgable", "experienced", "mothers" didnt know anything about soothing the savages beasts that are newborns.  All it took was a pair of booties knitted with love.  This picture was taken towards the end of a 6 hour sleeping session by Riley.  We're hoping she wakes up for the fantasy football draft in five hours.  We are still debating whether to take a chance on Favre.

Cat Fight!!!!!!!

Meeeeeowwwwww!

(Lack of) Sleep Update

So, our ladies are getting more independent.  By independent, they sleep at different times and are total bizzos. They were up most of the morning yesterday until about 2PM, then they slept all evening.  When we went to bed, they were tossing and whining.  Not wailing, but not sleeping.  They took turns sleeping in the bed with us, which normally worked.  After about 330AM they both slept more (Sanna in her crib, Riley in the bed). They are up and ready to party at 915. 

New poll

I should give some more background info to the latest poll. Sanna sleeps all day either on the bear or in someone's arms. She wakes up every three hours to eat. At night, after feeding, we put her in the cradle and she cries like someone is killing her. We normally pick her up, but it leads to no sleep for us if we are always holding her. One night, we didnt pick her up and she cried for ~20min and then slept all night. There are varying schools of thought. We are currently entertaining all of them.

To all my loyal readers.......

I apologize for the gap in time between now and the most recent post. As you may have heard, we have two newborns and I have a job. Until today, I wasnt aware anyone was missing the blog. The comment count had dropped down so I thought everyone was bored with our babies. Since that appears to not be the case I will carry on this pursuit of entertaining the masses through baby-related humor and cuteness.

Even More Action!!!!!

Riley in Action

More action shots!!!

Sanna in Action!!!!

You asked for it, you got it.

Finally!!!

After way too much effort, I figured out how to upload massive amounts of pictures onto the blog.  If you look on the left hand side under the dogs, you will see a slideshow.  You can watch it as small pictures or click it to access our flickr account.  I will just keep dumping all of our pictures there.  That will leave the main posting area free for all my ramblings and baby fights.  I think I may be able to upload video as well, but it is still early.

Flying Poop

I had heard rumors of projectile bowel movements while away in Tennessee, but it wasnt until I experienced it for myself that the legend became real.  Riley had been doing her business for quite some time when we assumed she was done.  As I was concluding another world record diaper change, she let loose with a frozen rope.  It cleared the edge of the pack-and-play changing table and landed another foot away on the floor.  Apparently breastfed babies really do have sweet-smelling poo as the dogs were all over it, making for quite a scene.  We were trying to avoid poo prints all over the new carpet.  Fun times. 

Send me your pictures

Taking a look at our latest pictures and trying to figure out who our ladies look like led me to create our next blog game. I am bored with cage matches (and so is my readership apparently). So, despite the voting in its favor, I am going to move on to a game where everyone sends me their baby pictures (I think you should be 2 or under), as well as a current picture. I will post a batch at a time and everyone can guess who is who. I will try to pair up the pictures from our more mature readership so we arent comparing scanned film from the 40's with digital pictures of Justin and Emily when they were 2 in 1996. Please email me and I will figure out how to make something interesting out of them.

Is it immoral/illegal/impossible to cryogenically freeze babies?

Seeing the pictures of my ladies as I am gone this week (missing one third of their life so far) caused me to think about the progress of cryogenics. If I were to freeze the babies every time I went on a business trip, would that be wrong? Im sure its expensive, which is the biggest problem. Does anyone know the latest status of our country's cyrogenic capabilities? How many freezing/thawing cycles can one human take? Discuss.....

Giant Babies

So, my ladies have chosen to grow and be extra cute while I am gone. Laurin generously/spitefully sent me some pictures while I am in Knoxville. Enjoy! Sanna completed her first half roll (stomach to back), and Riley didnt go to the emergency room. Both ladies experienced exlplosive diarrhea, which their grandma enjoyed. Laurin has been joying full nights of sleep and days full of soap operas.

Action?

The site wont let me upload vide for some reason.  I will keep trying.  I will be out of town all week, so you will have to beg Laurin and her parents to post the latest cage match and action shots.

Polls

I want to thank everyone who has voted on the two most recent polls.  You have confirmed my beliefs that it is ok to pit children against eachother in battles of cuteness as well as confirming we need more action shots/movies.  Until our children actually start doing something besides squirming, should I put up video of me playing disc golf ?  I think that question is a no-brainer, so I will convince Ryan Stohler to hold the camera next round.  Lord knows you dont want video of his form miseducating the youth of America.

Cage Match #4

In a controversial ending reminiscent of the 1972 gold medal basketball game between the Soviet Union and the U.S.A., the win in the previous cage match was given to the Damron ladies.  After the tie was announced, two votes came in.  One was for the damrons, and one for Abe and Ozzie.  I asked for one more vote, and the first to come in was the vote for the Damrons (albeit for a questionable reason).  Also, the vote for Abe was not cast on the cage match post, so it could never have been counted.  

Anyway, in this matchup we see the Damron ladies returning to face the most beautiful little lady in the world, Ms. Laurin Smith circa 1981 (?).   Laurin would like everyone to know it was her aunt who submitted the photo, not her.  I defy anyone to tell me my lovely wife, the mother of my children, isnt cuter than a dumb old dog and fluffy puppy of questionable intelligence.   Let the biased voting commence......

Cage Match Tie...

Ok everyone, so we need one vote to break the tie in the latest cage match.    

lazy days

Dance Off!!!

The gauntlet has been thrown down .  Brett has claimed that Calvin can redeem himself with a victory over Abe in a dance off.   I am very familiar with Abe's dancing ability, so Calvin has his work cut out for him.  Will both parties please submit your videos to my email (keep them under a minute), and I will post for judgement.

Random Pics

Cage Match Round 3

In the third cagematch, we see our returning champion Abe and Ozzie back again.  This time, they are taking on the Damron ladies, Grace and Pearl.  Can two beautiful pooches take down this unrelenting champion?  Only your votes can decide....

Do you believe in miracles?

In an upset of epic proportions, Abe and Ozzie defeated the heavy favorite Zoolander to take home the victory.  Two last minute votes came in:  one that tied the match, and one that sealed the win for Team Handy Manny.   Next up for Abe and Ozzie is a new breed of competitor...

Lets get it on....again!!!!!

In the first cage match post-twins we see one familiar face and one new entry.  Abe and Ozzie are back to get a fair shot.  Against them,  we see the lone warrior of cute that is Calvin Conoway.  Both bring the cute, but who has what it takes to survive two days in the cage?

Cage Match Update

Ive made a decision with regards to the cage match.  I agree with Bri that there can never be a fair cage match on this blog with the twins as one of the competitors.  So, as a service to my readership, I will host the cage match going forward using only reader's submissions.  There are plenty of cute pictures of the twins on the blog, so I think we should diversify with at least two pictures of somebody else at all times.  Thanks to the one vote cast for Abe and Ozzie by Matty, we will allow them to move forward.  If they hadnt received that one vote, I may have kicked them out.  I may submit pictures of Laurin or I as children, but nothing of the twins.  Its just not fair.  But, just to show that even in an objective arena we could take everyone down, I submit the attached picture.  If anyone has any problems with this change of plans, let me know.  

First Family Expedition

We decided to go to South Haven this weekend to meet the great grandparents and get a tan.  So far, it has been quite an adventure.  Our little devil Sanna has found a new talent for creating messy diapers.  She also decided to pee all over herself and me during a diaper change.  That caused them both to get baths.  The one bear shot I put in here is her during her bath looking proud of herself.  We have been taking the new stroller all over South Haven.  We went to lunch today and the ladies didnt make a noise at a very loud restaurant.   Anyway, I hope these pics will appease the unruly mob that is the verbal diarrhea fanclub.  

Im not angry, I promise....

So, my mother seems to think the tone of my blog is one of anger and annoyance with my readership.  To all my loyal reader, I hope you know that is not the case.  In case any of you have never met me before, I have been known to be sarcastic and argumentative.   I am just trying to cultivate a interactive blogging experience for all those fans out there .  

Hopefully noone's feelings have been hurt by posts.

Suck it up people.  Get you blog on!

Rules of the Cage Match

Ok, here we go....

1.  Anyone who isnt part of the current cage match (submitting either of pictures being voted on) can vote.

2.  To vote, state your vote in comment form on the post that has the pictures of the cage match participants.  If you are having trouble publishing your comments, email them to me and I will post them. 

3.  Each cage match will last 48 hours.  

At the end, whoever has more votes moves on to face the next competitor.   For the sake of explanation, we will assume 'napping twins' is the winner.  I will soon be putting up a new picture to compete against 'napping twins'.  Once that post is up, you vote by commenting on that post.  Dont place your comments on any other post but the one with the competitor's pictures.  

People can keep sending me pictures to be placed in the cage match queue. I received quite a few at once when this started, so I will pick one to be the next competitor.  I would prefer if the pictures were something from your life (you as children, your children, your grandparents, your pets, etc) but any entrants will be accepted.

If this does not clarify things, let me know.  To let everyone catch their breath, I will continue to take entrants as they come in through the weekend and post a new cage match on Monday.  The same napping twins picture will compete against a new competitor.   

I will actually leave the voting open on the first cage match until Monday to let everyone practice voting.  

Good luck participants and voters.  I will have to think of monthly cage match prizes.  

I want to be able to tell people I have smart friends and relatives, but....

Ok, maybe I wasnt quite clear about how this whole "cuteness cage match" worked.  For their to be a winner, you actually have to vote. I have people sending me entries and not voting, people posting comments to that post but not declaring a winner, and people posting comments about the cuteness cage match on other posts but not really voting.  I think this is a great feature that I would like to continue, but I dont want to get off on the wrong foot.  I think Abe and Ozzie should have gotten more votes, but due to a lack of objectivity and voting, Bri is probably at home crying.  I dont want to keep putting pictures against the juggernaut that it 'twins napping' only to see only a few votes cast each time by people who would never consider voting against my amazingly cute twins.   So, send me an email if you are having trouble posting comments.  I could turn this into a poll, but there were some issues with that.  After I get some response here, I will move on to round 2.    Viva la cage match!