Father Figure Needed

So, this weekend we enacted a crazy scheme to jam a house full of high school friends and their infants/toddlers into the Hendrickson's South Haven condo. There were 3 infants, two toddlers 8 parents, and Carey. All of us gathered to share some good times. The chaos was minimal. As expected, our girls were perfect angels. We were a little bit worried as Sanna has turned into a bit of a diva around 'strangers', which as of now is anyone besides Laurin and I. She took a little while to warm up to Carey, which isnt much of a suprise, but after that she was fine with everyone else. Out girls bounced, sat, and played contently all day long. There was lots of fist bumping from Owen and whining by Finnegan. Apparently Dan and Denise put some magic crystals in his diaper that magically migrated into his man parts to wreak havoc on our evening. We all took turns viewing/diagnosing/offering ideas to fix his business. Apparently Vicks' Vapo Rub is a bad idea. We were looking for vasoline and it certainly appeared to be vasoline based at a minimum. Laurin whipped out some bactimicin ointiment that we had for our ladies' diaper rash and it seemed to help. Finnegan also got a bath, which he seemed to like. He took one last hit from the Edmund mobile diner and fell asleep in Denise's arms. That finally allowed us to play "Battle of the Sexes" which I had bought at Walmart that morning because the cable and internet had been turned off by Laurin's evil, massicistic parents, who are in Florida for two months. Battle of the Sexes is a game that is supposed to ask the men questions that women would normally know and vice versa. The winner of the game is supposed to be the 'better' sex. It turns out that knowing a lot of answers to the questions that you are asked in this game means you are more a woman than a man, and that you should be embarrased. Can I help it that I am subjected to the eighteen iterations of 'The Hills', entertainment tonight, project runway, and Oprah on a daily/weekly basis. I am a man with a diverse knowledge base. Is it so wrong to know names of fashion designers and the Spice Girls? While we laughed at Dan for guess that the answer to the question "how did women in the 70s straighten their hair" was either with a curling iron, a beehive, or crimper, the end result was that his manliness was not questioned. No suprise, Dan and I won both times we played. If anybody asks, men are the better sex until someone tells me that their woman team somehow won that game. I would then challenge you to a playoff. The next morning my parents stopped by to shower us with gifts and get their monthly fix of baby face time. We got home in record time and the girls slept the whole way. Good times concluding a fun weekend.

We Are Kind of a Big Deal

As many of you have noticed, we have gone global. The people of England and Canada enjoy the hilarity that is our lives the most, with the rest of the world well represented. I invite all of our global visitors to join in on the fun. For quite some time I thought it was just our aunts reading this blog, but we had 49 unique hits yesterday. We will keep the good times coming for all of our worldwide readers. And to those of you with a diarrhea fetish I am sorry google has wronged you by sending you in my direction.

What is Worse?

I feel this one warranted a post as opposed to a poll. Here I present two examples of awfulness: first is Sanna playing the piano. She is slapping it with angry blows and lacking any rhythm. Second is Bermes really abusing the use of a sweater vest in public. I think each is horrible in so many ways. My opinion is that this was Sanna's first attempt at playing a piano, Bermes has had 29 years to figure out clothing.

WARNING! May Not Be That Cute/Interesting/Exciting if Youre Not Us

In this first video, you see Riley sitting up for a minute straight without help. She even starts up her toy, which plays the same 30 second song over an over again. This was the first time she started it herself, so it hasnt gotten annoying yet. She cant get to this position on her own, but she has stabilization skills she didnt have before.

In this second video, we see Sanna showing her future as a close talker. She also apparently hasnt figured out which end of the dog to talk to. She had a fifty-fifty shot and blew it. I swear she is smart. When we picked her up, her face was covered with Owen's hair, which was kind of gross.

*As a quick side note, I think it is pretty much the most interesting thing ever to watch the two of them develop differently. We have our own little nature vs. nurture experiment going on under our roof. That assumes we treat them both exactly the same. I would say our treatment of them is commensurate with their attitude, so how do you judge our effect on them? Anyway, it appears that Riley is the queen of sitting up (Sanna isnt even close). Sanna is the queen of rolling over (Riley has lost interest after being first to it). They both talk a lot, but Sanna talks constantly. Apparently Riley is more masculine, and beefy. I cant wait to see them when they can walk, talk, and dish out attitude. Its gonna be crazy.

Our Beautiful Son?

So, we understand that due to their lack of hair and massive size it is often difficult to determine if Sanna and Riley are boys or girls.  But, if we dress them in solid pick sleepers and a pink hat you would thing people would have sufficient reasons to guess they were girls.  Today at church, a guy was introduced to Riley and referred to her as 'he' soon after.  Apparently he assumed she was a boy because he assumed Riley was a boys name.  I dont really know any boy Rileys, but I understand that it is a name used for both genders.  Are our girls going to require solid pick dresses and bows in their hair throughout their lives to be recognize as women?  I wasnt able to take a picture of Riley in her super-girly outfit, but this will do as a representative picture of similar garb.

Am I a Miracle Worker?

So, while I was gone in frigid Minneapolis for a few days, Laurin didnt have such a fun time with the babies. There was a cold circulating through the Smith women (mostly Laurin and Sanna), and Riley was practicing for her upcoming role on 'Bad Girls Club'. After hearing Laurin threaten all kinds of violence on herself and the babies (mostly Riley), I was afraid to come home. Much to my surprise, when I returned home the ladies were perfect angels. Both ladies slept 12 hours the first night I was home. Laurin had stated while I was gone that they would never sleep through the night again. Riley magically remebered how to bounce again. We had been worried about her after 3 weeks sans bouncy chair she didnt seem interested in her favorite pastime. Also, the tantrums stopped. We had nothing but happy babies. Could it have been my calming, inspiring presence that caused all of these positive changes? I am going to look into what needs to be happen to officially be recognized as a saint. I am sure I performed at least three miracles. Anyway, see this video of Sanna's newest love, the bounce chair. She had previously been unable/disinterested in bouncing. She is friggin crazy now.

*Laurin's recollection of the above events may differ slightly from mine.

Highlights from Florida

My apologies

To all the loyal Verbal Diarrhea readers (Ive nicknamed you the diarrhea divas), I must apologize. It has been way too long since my last post. I have been on business travel which was preceded by vacation. I spent most of the week in sunny Minneapolis, enjoying the -30F weather. Id never thought I would be excited for 0F. Anyway, to get us started, here is a video of Riley's newest pastime, which is watching Frankie. There will be more to come soon, I promise.

Funny

Look at Me Having Fun w/ Babies

To all you party poopers who told us our lives would be over now that we have babies, take a look at this. I have found a way to integrate babies into all my normal activities so that I can have all the fun I would have had pre-babies. Today, for instance, I played shuffleboard, pinochle, ate a sweet meal,had a dance party, and took a sweet family portrait (four generations), all while directly caring for a baby. I want to thank the wonderful people at Baby Bjorn for making this all possible.