Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
Monday, September 29, 2008

What have we learned so far?

Nothing really. We continue to be baffled by the variability of day-to-day life for our divas. Case in point....on Friday night, we took the ladies to Drlich manor for a intimate gathering of friends (and Bermes). We fed Sanna around 7 and put her in her car seat around 8. She didnt eat again until almost 5AM! Is it the magic of the car seat? Possibly. Riley slept for quite a long time too that night. Last night however, they both slept in ~2-3 hour chunks despite an awake/fussy day. Next up, puking. Some times, Riley will shower us with her entire meal. Other time, she wont barf up a drop? What is the cause for this variability in gastrointestinal volatility? Recently, Sanna has gotten in on the fun too. Our ladies are getting more alert, which is good. They will stare/track us as we move around. We are going to a craniosacral therapist on Thursday. You can all look up what that is. She is hoping to help with Riley's reflux. We might get Sanna some help as well, maybe she can cure excessive grunting. Anyway, I wanted to post something after my longest ever time between posts. At 7Am in the airport this is what you get. I hope you enjoyed my ramblings. If any of you in the Indianapolis area are bored, check in on Laurin today to make sure she hasnt killed herself/the babies. Thanks.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Cage Match

So, things have been going nicely with the cage matches.  We have had some highly contested matches.  I am enjoying the childhood pics, but am now out.  If more people want to send me their pics, I will put them up.  Or, we could take this in the direction of everyone sending in their animals.  I like child vs. child, animal vs. animal, etc.  Would anyone be brave enough to submit their yearbook photos?  I know Im not. 

My Wife Has Gone Crazy


Normally, you would think that I would be the one to come up with ridiculous ideas that may or may not be safe.  Not this time.  As I was working diligently in the office, Laurin comes strolling in with Riley in tow.  Just as any other day, the dogs follow us wherever we go.  Frankie walked between Laurin's legs and stood there as she talked to me with Riley in her hands.  Laurin suddenly had a light bulb go off and said "lets take a picture of Riley riding Frankie".  What happened to my sane wife?  Has she completely lost it?  If this story had revolved around me coming up with this idea, people would have said "Oh Ryan, you so crazy", but it wouldnt have been that strange.   With Laurin, Im a little worried.  If anyone has the name of a good shrink, let me know.
Monday, September 22, 2008

At What Point is an Item Unsalvageable?


When I started this post, it was to talk about Sanna's night time bowel movement that she decided to sit in for who knows how many hours. When I got to it at 1230AM, it had been over 6 hours since her last meal.  She had been sitting in a funny position in her swing, so the mess was up her back and had dried.  Once I peeled the item off her, I had was left with a decision.  Is it worth trying to rinse a stain that dried some time ago?  I was reprimanded for not attempting to salvage the garment in the middle of the night.   I argued that once the mess dries, there is no sense in hurrying to fix it.   It is now in the laundry, so we will see what happens.

As I write, Riley is being bathed after a massive explosion.  She managed to take out her diaper, her new outfit (complete with shoulder pads and cleavage), her favorite vibrating chair, and our sanity.   She sat there smiling as we separated the items for washing.  She is now wailing as she gets a bath, so we're even.  

Lets see what wisdom exists in the blogosphere pertaining to dealing with fresh and old baby stains. 

We documented the destruction in photo form, but I think it is too graphic even for the internet. 

I will leave you with a picture of Riley celebrating her achievement.
Friday, September 19, 2008

More Photo Caption Fun!!!


I checked, and our ladies do not speak french, portuguese, swedish, or english.   But, we can pretend they speak english, or robot.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008

My Master Plan Worked!!!


I knew I could outsmart the Verbal Diarrhea readership.  I posted a message proclaiming the unstoppable cuteness I exhibit in the cage match picture.  I dared someone to challenge my dominance.   In doing so, I motivated all of you to vote against me.  Clearly I am much cuter than Patti, but you have chosen to spite me.  Either that, or Patti has access to ten computers.  I was hoping to get ousted so that the competition could be opened up to some competitors who I felt it would have been unfair to pit against me.   In the end, this is a great thing and I thank all of you for falling into my trap.    Long live the Cage Match!!!!! Send in your entries now that you all have a chance.  Lets hope this message doesnt set off a flurry of votes for me to spite me in the opposite way. 


p.s. My indomitable wit and cunning was made possible by my vegetable-free diet.  In case you havent seen the recent study, eating vegetables shrinks your brain.  Take that stupid vegetarians.  Bring on the beef.

Laurin is concerned that our readership does not know how to access the flickr photostream.  All you need to do is click on the slideshow, and it will take you to our flickr page.  Once there, click on the link to the right that says "rcsmith794's photostream" and you will have access to the last 200 pictures we have uploaded.  She mistakenly thinks that people really only come to the blog to see the latest pics of our ladies.  She is sadly mistaken, but I will humor her.  Do you want to see more pics of the ladies on each post (similar to the early days of Verbal Diarhhea), or are you happy with the current format.  I prefer having more room for posts while still giving every access to even more pictures.  Is anyone too lazy to make two extra clicks to see our ladies?
Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Who can stop this cuteness juggernaut?

I know you're all thinking "the cuteness cage match has really gotten boring since Ryan the Child was entered.  Noone stands a chance".    I have toppled some formidable opponents, and have pitted another one against me this morning.  While she isnt riding a sweet tricycle or wearing overalls, she is bringing the cute.   Will she have enough game to move forward, I guess we will have to wait and see.  Let me assure you that I have not cast a single vote for myself.  Despite my apparent computer mastery, I have not rigged the voting.  I am no Katharine Harris.    
Monday, September 15, 2008

Our Babies Have Inherited My Ability to Screw with People


Our ladies really have skills.  Since Laurin returned home on Friday, I spent each night taking care of Riley and she took care of Sanna.  On Friday night, Riley had a 5 hour sleeping session.  On Saturday, there was a 6 hour session.  On those same nights,  Sanna slept 2-3.5 hours at night.  As a favor to Laurin, I offered her Riley for Sunday night.  Last night, Riley woke up every 2-3 hours, and did not go back to sleep quickly.    Sanna woke up every 3-4 hours.    Laurin thinks the babies hate her.  I know that they are just messing with her. 

News Not Related to Babies




In other exciting news, I have started playing Rugby and Nick has asked me to emcee his wedding in the absence of a DJ.    I think all of those who will be attending Nick's wedding will be in for a treat, unless I am dead from playing rugby.  Which is a worse decision, Nick's to offer me this opportunity, or mine to play rugby?
Saturday, September 13, 2008

What's funnier?

Here I present two videos: One that includes Sanna displaying her ability to break wind, and the other demonstrating Riley's ability to projectile puke (on her sister). If the puke had been more intense and covered Sanna I think it would be an easier choice. You can decide. They also include some sweet ninja action.
Thursday, September 11, 2008

Happy Anniversary to Us!

Monday, September 8, 2008

New Photo Caption Contest


I think we can all agree that Ryans519 was the winner of the first caption contest, so lets try again with a  picture that will hopefully result in less inappropriate humor.  Just kidding, let it rip.  There are no babies reading this blog.  

Cage Match Quandry

In the most competitive cage match ever, there was no winner.  Despite a cage match record 24 votes, no winner emerged.  I thought long and hard about what to do.  Should I give it to the incumbent for holding strong against another worthy foe?  Should I give it to the upstart newcomer for standing up the big bad champion?  At last, I determined it was not fair for either to lose after performing so valiantly.  I decided instead to add in a third competitor to shake things up.  I know this is unprecedented.  Dont everybody go freaking out.  Lets all calm down and move forward.  Lets get it on.....
Sunday, September 7, 2008

Preparing for Her Tennis Career


She may not be mobile, coordinated, or strong enough to hold the smallest of racquets, but Sanna has mastered grunting. Like her hero Monica Seles, Sanna utilizes the grunt to get things done. In honor of the U.S. Open Finals, I present this video.
Friday, September 5, 2008

Swinging in the Rain




Do I really sound like that?

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Swing Mystery



Ok all you masters of deduction, take a crack at this one.    We were generously gifted a swing from the Lielands (the blue one).  It swings side-to-side or front-to-back.  It has six speeds, a mobil, and plays music.  We quickly realized the power of the swing.    We use it during the day only and it works beautifully.  Whenever they are fussing, or Laurin needs a break, they go in it and relax/sleep.   But, having twins, we need another little helper.  We searched online for another swing from Walmart due to our abundance of gift cards, and found this little rainforest number.  It had the same features as the aquarium swing, so we went for it.  Upon bringing it home, we realized it had been returned at least once.  The parts were shoved in the box, there were no instructions, and I think it was missing two screws.  Despite these setbacks, my man skills allowed me to assemble the apparatus in record time.  When we started testing it out, we realized it had the opposite effect of the aquarium swing.  We would put them in it calm, and they would slowly start to freak out.  To further the experiment, we switched them during a freak out from the rainforest to the aquarium.  Like someone waved a magic wand the crying stopped.  So, after less than 24 hours of use we returned the rainforest.   I had found that Babies R Us was the only place that had the aquarium on their website.  We showed up there to double our pleasure and were told that they only carried them online these days.  Fighting back tears, I inquired further and learned that Once Upon a Child often has them.  Being a second hand store I thought it was odd that they often had a specific swing as they would need to have been sold one from an owner.  Anyway, since it was on the way to Walmart we stopped in.  Low and behold they had exactly one aquarium swing sitting on the floor.  I took three steps into the store, told the lady I wanted to buy that swing, and walked out 2 minutes later with an assembled aquarium swing.  My new favorite store is Once Upon a Child.  We returned the stupid rainforest swing and got the better swing (albeit used) for a third the price.   So, take a look at the pictures my loyal braintrust of readers and hypothesize why they hated the rainforest and love the aquarium swing.   I should add that the aquarium seems to swing faster and has a hard plastic full seat whereas the rainforest had slower swing speeds and more of a hammock-style back support.  The butt support was hard plastic, but they back was just supported by the fabric being stretched over an arced bar.

New Layout!!!

So, I got frustrated with the lack of usable space on the blog.  I searched for templates, and found this.  Now, we have three columns of fun!  But, in doing so, I lost all of the previous items I had on there besides the posts.  I had to recreate them as best as possible.  I also lost the votes on the cage match.  It appeared to be a blowout in favor of Laurin the Child, so I moved her forward to face a new competitor.  Since tomorrow is Friday, I gave it through Monday for voting.  Should be a tough match.  I will look through our old entries, but I welcome new ones.  
Wednesday, September 3, 2008

New Feature!!!!!!!!!!!




I have a feeling this wont go well (due to everyone's apparent lack of enthusiam/fear of posting), but here it goes.  I am going to put up a photo and allow people to write captions for it.  I thought it might be amusing given the wealth of wit and humor that reads this blog (so I hear).  Lets try this one to start.....

Check Out the New Format....

On the left-hand side of the blog, you will see the new format for the cage match.  Since people seem to prefer voting on polls to posting, here you go.  You have 48 hours to help your favorite to victory.  Also, I dont have too many contestants after this, so get to sending me the cuteness. 
Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Im bringing back the cage match!

I think I found a way to do the cage match so that everyone can vote in anonymity without needing to post.  I will post the pictures on the left-hand side with a poll beneath asking you to vote for one of the contestants.   With that being said, I need entrants.  You as a kid, your kids, your pets, etc.  I got many requests to bring back the cage match, and learned of many new readers recently, so there should be plenty of entrants for the cuteness cage match.  I also have another sweet feature that I will be adding soon.  It will require you to post to participate though, so figure it out people. 

Monday, September 1, 2008

Who is Who Revisited


Here is your chance to prove your commitment to the blog.  Who pays the closest attention to the differentiating features of our ladies?  It is also a chance to for those secret blog readers to show themselves.  There is no need to hide.  Everyone is welcome to join in the hilarity.  Also, I need to point out again that the picture of the fat babies are not our babies, they are not digitally edited pictures of our babies.  In fact, I dont know whose babies they are.  Over the past week, we have learned of blog admirers from across the country.  We welcome all of them and any comments they have on the blog, or on features they would like to see on the blog.  I was also told to remind people that if you click the slideshow, you can see all the pictures.  The slideshow just flips through the latest upload.  The latest 200 pics are always on the flickr account.